Recession Over! $2.5 Trillion In Government Surplus Distributed Fairly To Neediest

In a surprise turn of events, the US Treasury Department came out with a stunning report titled, “We Were A Little Off.”  By “off,” they were referring to the health of the financial sector, which was originally thought to be in dire straights. Apparently, due to some decimal errors, they wildly miscalculated and things aren’t, “all that bad.”  The resulting panic that has swept through all financtial sectors and general consumer confidence has reversed; money is being spent and many businesses who have laid-off workers have begun to rehire their workforce. 

All the money set aside for TARP and other federal stimulus plans has been recollected, accounted for and moved towards a new merit-based fund to help those Americans and communities in true need and will be distributed in an open and measured fashion over the next 18 months.

As part of the federal governments plan to reign in spending and reduce corporate and personal dependency on the federal government, those who bought homes in the past year way above their means with no ability to actually pay for it, were told, “Suck it up and deal.”

And happy April everyone - Recessioned is closed

Source: CNN



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