A growing trend, covered by TechCrunch, is the rise of private shopping clubs that are flourishing online. Sites such as GiltGroupe and Ideeli sell season-old designer labels to an invite-only group for a steep discount, typically up to 50% off retail price, but sometimes as much as 75% or more. 

Proving that there’s always cash to be in other’s misery, the NY Times has a review of a Palm Desert, CA conference for R.E.O (“real estate owned”) opportunists. Basically, an industry gathering of how to buy and profit from foreclosures, bank-owned properties, short sales and other discounted properties vacated by their (former) owners. 

By now, we’ve all been horrified by the bloodletting going on in Hollywood. Specifically, the news that the top “talent” have been forced into lower pay as the studios have had to tighten their belts. Julia Roberts only making $15mm for her performance in the sure to be groundbreaking, Eat, Pray, Love.  Scarlett Johansson making less than half a million for Iron Man 2.  Stars not getting the deals that would give them a fixed percentage of the movie’s overall take. The list of outrages go on and on.

In a surprise turn of events, the US Treasury Department came out with a stunning report titled, “We Were A Little Off.”  By “off,” they were referring to the health of the financial sector, which was originally thought to be in dire straights. Apparently, due to some decimal errors, they wildly miscalculated and things aren’t, “all that bad.”  The resulting panic that has swept through all financtial sectors and general consumer confidence has reversed; money is being spent and many businesses who have laid-off workers have begun to rehire their workforce. 

All the money set aside for TARP and other federal stimulus plans has been recollected, accounted for and moved towards a new merit-based fund to help those Americans and communities in true need and will be distributed in an open and measured fashion over the next 18 months.

As part of the federal governments plan to reign in spending and reduce corporate and personal dependency on the federal government, those who bought homes in the past year way above their means with no ability to actually pay for it, were told, “Suck it up and deal.”

And happy April everyone - Recessioned is closed

Always the helpful publication, the Wall Street Journal has an article with some useful tips on ways to cut back spending and save your hard earned cash.  Tips include reducing expenses on things like bottled water, organic produce and that gym membership. 

In other words, quit your yuppie charade and stop being a bitch. Seriously, the tap water is fine, “green” is a marketing fad and let’s be honest; you weren’t going to the gym anyway.  And a half hour watching VH1 on the treadmill doesn’t justify the cost.

Helpful!

Oh almost happy day! Nine out of the ten executives who received bonuses from AIG will be returning them. NY Attorney General Cuomo told reporters today that he expects to get $80 million back of the $165 million paid by the insurance clowns. I was never the best at math, but isn't that barely half of the total sum? What happened to the other $85 million? Is it already spent? Either give it back or don't, but this actually makes me angrier. Also, I'd really like to meet the tenth executive who has not yet agreed to return the money. What could be going through his mind? Seriously? As I told this douchebag on Friday who was hitting on my friend and would not leave even though she was clearly not interested and uncomfortable by his creepiness - you really want to be that guy?

FYI I got the doucho kicked out of the bar. Let that be a lesson to all AIG executives.

Law firms have finally found a solution for the surplus in lawyers. Rather than lay them off, certain companies have started offering their employees reduced salaries in exchange for public service. Big law firms are sending out the newbies to legal aid organizations and offering council to nonprofits. This is a winning formula! Organizations are getting the help they need and lawyers are getting kept off the street. Even though the lawyers concerned probably don't share my opinion, this, along with the $110 Banana Republic sweater that I bought for $15, proves that indeed there is an upside to the downturn.

For those out of range of the 405 Club's party, head to the Foxy Lad strip club in Providence, this Saturday for their job fair.  They're looking to fill 30 positions; managers, general staff, and of course, attractive waitresses.  Well, it makes a lot of sense.  In these dark times, there's little better than the solace of a hot Rhode Islander chick, grinding in your lap.  Talk about stimulus plan!  Hoo-ah! Rimshot!

Move over Gordon Liddy, there's a new bad guy in town. George David, Chariman and CEO of United Technologies, is being sued by his wife over the $36 million he's trying to give her as part of their divorce settlement. $36 million? Are you kidding me? How is his ex-wife supposed to live off of that?! What kind of inhuman monster tries to get away with that cheapskate attitude? My goodness! Is there no decency in this world?

Well Marie Douglas-David is not taking this lying down. She is putting up a fight for what is rightfully hers! You go girl! You get that money! Ain't no man going to make you live on less than $53,000 a year! Nah uh! No way! Especially not when he spends $200,000 a week.

We're gonna take a brief pause in our typically hard-hitting recession lifestyle coverage to let you know about an important event our friends at the 405 club are having for recesioned New Yorkers.

A social event, to mingle with recruiters and other recessioned'ers.  Bring a resume, land a job, or just get inappropriately drunk.  Click the link below or the flyer on the right column for info.